Monday, August 20, 2012

Notes from letter of August 20, 2012
Leaving La Smith


Why do I have to be so bipolar? This entire change I have wanted to have a change, and now I have one. I am leaving La Smith. But now that I have one, I don´t want to leave. There are a few people we are teaching that are just awesome, and I want to be here for their baptisms, I want to be here to help them. But I feel the spirit right now and I knew that this was going to happen, all the members knew as well. The members yesterday said some really nice things to us as well. They said that in the Sociedad de Socorro (relief society) that they talk about us by our names and that they say we work really hard. The member that told us that proceeded to tell us that if they know our names, it means something really good. I then went on divisions with our ward mission leader who is an 18 year old preparing to go on the mission and I mentioned that a lot of the priests in the ward are starting to want to go on divisions with us on sunday; we even have a priest that has asked 3 weeks in a row to leave with us, and he told me that a lot of the jovens in the ward like me and that his family likes me a lot as well. It seems like all my doubts about areas, about myself, about what I am doing all seems to fly when I am about to leave an area. I know I shouldn´t base my happiness on what other people think, but hearing stuff like that really really does make my day.
 
Remember what I said about the last week and about my frustrations? Remember how I mentioned that I tell myself when I am passing through something bien duro that it is only a test, and the blessings are about to come/the dam about to break type of thing? Well, the dam broke. We found out on Thursday that an the hermana from one family (who we have been working with for a very long time -- they had all the problems with their papers for the wedding), well we had been working on her husband for quite some time with drinking. He came to the house on Wednesday drunk and she kicked him out of the house. She said the Lord had told her over and over again that he would never change and so she finally got up the courage and kicked him out. She told us "now I can get baptized. I am getting baptized the 25 of august" and we said "yes, yes you are. we will be preparing everything." We had mentioned that I might not be there for the baptism and she just told me that, no I was going to be there. Then on sunday she told us "There is a primary activity on the 25. I am getting baptized on the 18th." We prepared everything. She got baptized the day before yesterday. She is probably my favorite baptism I have ever had. She has so much faith and is so charitable. She gives us food every single time we go there, or if she doesn´t, she wants to give us money so we can buy something. I think if nothing else this area was worth it just to be here for her baptism. I did nothing; she had already been prepared for months by other missionaries, and even a longer time before that by the Lord. She is so happy, even in her trials. And after all that time of waiting patiently, always trying to better herself and help others around her, she received her reward. She asked me to baptize her and I felt so privelaged to do that for her. There is that scripture in DyC where God promises us that if we cry repentance unto His children every day and we bring but one soul unto Him, how great will be our joy in the kingdom of our Father with that person. Maybe I didn´t actually do much for her but I have been crying repentance every day with all my soul, and I guarantee that with her, I will be rejoicing in heaven, along with all the others I have helped bring in. I can already feel that joy. Besides her, we also baptized Adonis, who is the brother of Agustin who we baptized the other month. Now everyone in that little family (well everyone that lives here) is baptized and they are all really excited and happy with everything that has happened. Right now, my joy is full.
 
 
A few weeks a go I gave the class in the Principios del Evangelio about charity. And something that I read/realized while teaching is that in order to have charity, one of the first steps is... to love yourself. That has always been really hard for me. I have always worried that I don´t have enough charity for the people I am serving. That sometimes I feel too selfish or that I can´t give myself completely to the Lord or to them, and I honestly think that this is the root of the problem. I don´t love myself. That sounds weird. But its true! To have charity for someone else you first have to have it for yourself. So that is my new goal. Develop charity for myself.
 
The whole thing about the church losing more members now more than ever I feel like is very true. A word badly timed can mean years of inactivation for some members. I was thinking about this yesterday in church: "how many of us would say without hesitation ´I would die before denying my faith in Christ´? But then how many of us let something as simple as a remark or a joke or comment drive us away from the only true church of God? Sometimes I feel like it helps to take something big, like dying for our faith, and applying the lesson to something small -- staying active and strong, even though there was a bad comment made. I don´t know something like that. Someone eloquent rewrite it!
 
Well, I love you all. 
 
Love!
 
Elder Skousen

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